Valuable piece on an under-considered issue. When I worked at Hospice, "taking the keys" was a major concern for families. Men, especially, did not go quietly. Now that I've relocated to a place with more traffic and I had to sell my old friend, a little Toyota, I'm feeling reluctant to drive myself. But then I grew up in NYC so driving was always an afterthought. I really appreciate the number of places I can walk to from my new place.
Point 1. Turn signals. The car with the blinking turn signal you have been following for ten miles is likely driven by an older person.
Point 2. My sister took my father's keys away when he was about about 88, three years after our mother died. He was quite unhappy but she did not give in. He lived to be almost 91, and in good health and in his own house in the far suburbs almost until the end, but would have been a risk to himself and others if he had kept driving.
I recently made that decision - to give up the keys. After surgery for a detached retina, my eyes didn't see as well they did, I am 83 years old, and it seemed to be the right time. I acutely feel the loss of independence even though I can walk to most places and family members are very willing to drive me if I need - they say they would rather I be safe, than they be sorry. The decision was right, but a piece of freedom is lost.
Touchy topic! When my great-grandfather reached his early 80s, in the late 1960s, it fell to his sons to take the wheel away. Mind you, he had been a courier for C&P Telephone Co., and had also been the designated driver for family trips to Atlantic City, state parks, and amusement parks--piling the whole family into his pristine Buick! And early in his marriage, he rode a Harley-Davidson motorcycle with sidecar to carry his wife and my young grandmother around town. He also belonged to a motorcycle club and wore knee-high leather boots! But once the keys were taken away, he delighted in giving directions to wherever he was being given a ride.
Conversely, a dear friend and church member continued to drive her Chevy until 2 weeks before her death at age 100! She drove her friends to doctors appointments, to and from church, and on errands.
Important topic.
Valuable piece on an under-considered issue. When I worked at Hospice, "taking the keys" was a major concern for families. Men, especially, did not go quietly. Now that I've relocated to a place with more traffic and I had to sell my old friend, a little Toyota, I'm feeling reluctant to drive myself. But then I grew up in NYC so driving was always an afterthought. I really appreciate the number of places I can walk to from my new place.
Nice read. Remember going through this with Mom.
Important topic. HARD conversations….even if talking to yourself.
Point 1. Turn signals. The car with the blinking turn signal you have been following for ten miles is likely driven by an older person.
Point 2. My sister took my father's keys away when he was about about 88, three years after our mother died. He was quite unhappy but she did not give in. He lived to be almost 91, and in good health and in his own house in the far suburbs almost until the end, but would have been a risk to himself and others if he had kept driving.
I recently made that decision - to give up the keys. After surgery for a detached retina, my eyes didn't see as well they did, I am 83 years old, and it seemed to be the right time. I acutely feel the loss of independence even though I can walk to most places and family members are very willing to drive me if I need - they say they would rather I be safe, than they be sorry. The decision was right, but a piece of freedom is lost.
Touchy topic! When my great-grandfather reached his early 80s, in the late 1960s, it fell to his sons to take the wheel away. Mind you, he had been a courier for C&P Telephone Co., and had also been the designated driver for family trips to Atlantic City, state parks, and amusement parks--piling the whole family into his pristine Buick! And early in his marriage, he rode a Harley-Davidson motorcycle with sidecar to carry his wife and my young grandmother around town. He also belonged to a motorcycle club and wore knee-high leather boots! But once the keys were taken away, he delighted in giving directions to wherever he was being given a ride.
Conversely, a dear friend and church member continued to drive her Chevy until 2 weeks before her death at age 100! She drove her friends to doctors appointments, to and from church, and on errands.