Is It Time to Surrender the Keys?

No fun fun fun after daughter takes the T-bird away.

Photo Credit: Daisy-Daisy

You may have heard that Social Security is the “third rail” of American politics, meaning that, like the metal rail that carries electric current to trains, it is highly charged and dangerous to touch. There is also a third rail in any family unit that includes older adults: When the elders should stop driving.

It’s highly charged, all right. But it’s a serious problem that must be addressed.

On the one hand, the safety issues are real – for both the driver and others. Older drivers are more likely than younger ones to be involved in auto accidents, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says more than 20 older adults die and about 700 are injured every day in car accidents.

On the other, adults who have been driving for most of their lives associate driving with personal independence. They feel surrendering their right to drive is an assault on their dignity and a blow to their quality of life.

Between these two realities, there are many hard questions:

• When should an older adult stop driving, for their own personal safety?

• How do you make that decision?

• Who makes the decision?

• Is there a way to resolve the crisis without stomping on the older adult’s dignity? attacking their dignity?

I, for example, have been driving since I was 15. I consider myself a skilled driver with more than 55 years’ experience. I also recognize that at some point in the next 20 years, I will become a dangerous loose cannon on the road.

I know this. And yet I don’t want anyone telling me that my moment has come!

Early Warning Signs

If you an Older Driver in your life, you either have faced or are about to face this issue in real time.

Any number of warning signs may be ringing alarm bells about the Older Driver’s performance behind the wheel:

• Minor collisions, or close calls

• Frequent traffic violations

• Getting lost on familiar routes

• Difficulty seeing the road or signs

• Failing to stop at stop signs or traffic signals

• Inconsistent acceleration

• Neglecting to signal turns or lane changes

• Inability to recognize who has the right of way

• Challenges with recognizing distances between vehicles

• Difficulties merging and changing lanes

• Slow reactions to new situations

• Medical conditions such as seizures, glaucoma, macular degeneration, dementia, or Parkinson’s.

Most of us, to be honest, have had one or more of these happen to us at some point, and that’s no cause for concern. A pattern of several warning signs in, say, the past 90 days, is a different story.

Who Decides?

State laws do not mandate an upper limit on driver age. In general, state departments of motor vehicles may deny a license only if an individual has specific “medical conditions” that affect cognitive ability (dementia, Alzheimer’s), limit mobility (arthritis, Parkinson’s, stroke), or make the driver unsafe suddenly (epilepsy).

That tosses the decision back to the Older Driver and their family.

Most drivers would prefer to make the decision themselves. It is always best when they do. Unfortunately, many Older Drivers are unable or unwilling to look at their own capabilities objectively. Driving is also an emotional trigger. Most drivers, of all ages, link the freedom to drive at will to their personal independence and autonomy.

That puts family members on the hot seat. How can they do what (they believe) is best for the safety of the Older Driver, without sparking an emotionally charged conflagration?

Avoiding Armageddon over Dinner

Fortunately, family members can call on several resources for support.

The Older Driver’s primary care physician, geriatrician, or ophthalmologist may be your most valuable ally. Advice from doctors generally carries more weight than a suggestion from a family member. Share your concerns about the Older Driver’s abilities with the physician, and request that they discuss fitness for driving at the Older Driver’s next appointment. (In some states, if a physician diagnoses a clear physical or mental impairment that would affect the ability to drive safely, they inform the state motor vehicle agency, and that can trigger a process that leads to the Older Driver’s license being canceled.)

Another option is to suggest that the Older Driver evaluate their ability to drive.

• The Fitness-to- Drive Screening Measure is an online evaluation developed by University of Florida researchers. After answering a 21-question survey, test takers are rate as at-risk, routine, or accomplished drivers.

• The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration website has a self-assessment, Driving Safely While Aging Gracefully.

• AAA offers a 15-question self-rating assessment in a brochure, Drivers 65 Plus. The AAA website also makes the case for seeking a professional assessment by a driving skills evaluator or an occupational therapist specializing in driving rehabilitation.

• Another alternative: AARP offers an online Smart Driver ™ course, a refresher that in many states leads to a discount on auto insurance premiums.

There’s also help for family members about how to conduct a constructive conversation. AARP offers an online seminar, We Need to Talk, based on information created by The Hartford and MIT Agelab. There is also excellent advice on how to have a productive, non-explosive conversation at this site.

Finally, one humble suggestion: Clip and save this post, for that point in the future when the Older Driver in question is You.