Why We Grow Kinder As We Grow Older

Science confirms that older adults really are more generous.

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Lately I notice myself feeling more charitable towards people I usually find hard to take. Instead of being irritated by their rudeness, irrationality, or stupidity, I am inclined to offer them the benefit of the doubt. Apparently, it’s not just me. Social science researchers have found that it’s a common occurrence as people age.

Many studies over the past two decades have found that older adults demonstrate prosocial behavior – a less clinical term would be altruism – more frequently than younger adults. For example, Ulrich Mayr, Lewis Professor and head of the Psychology Department at the University of Oregon, found that the proportion of altruists in the population steadily increases with age. At age 35 it is less than 25%, and by age 55 and older, it is closer to 75%.

Other studies have confirmed this finding and expanded on it. Two researchers at the University of Zurich found that ecological concerns, an expression of concern for the entire planet, are positively related to age. Conversely, older adults were far less likely than young adults to report having a desire to be rich, and they were more likely to donate money to a charity or a cause.

I’m for Altruism

I have an opinion about altruism. I am for it. I recognize this is a controversial position, as prominent characters on the national political scene have stated publicly that caring about others is a weakness and a character flaw. I happen to believe our capacity to care for others is a key reason we’re not still living in trees throwing ripe mangos at each other. Being prosocial – caring for others without expecting reward – has allowed our highly social species to survive and thrive. “It should be baked into our DNA to be, at the very least, cooperative,” says Jane Piliavin, professor emerita of sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

But why? Why are older adults more likely than the young to give time and attention to others? Here the empirical data hits a dead end, and we enter the realm of speculation – or to use a less clinical term – informed guesses.

“You have more time,” says Piliavin. Since you aren’t devoting most of your day to working, she says, you have time to do more for others.

There are other theories. Alexandra Freund and Fredda Blanchard-Fields, researchers at the University of Zurich, suggest that young people need their resources to ensure their own (and their family’s) survival, whereas older adults have acquired what they need and are more likely to contribute to the well-being of future generations. Also, they say, it may have to do with the fact that older adults have a shorter perspective of the future than the young.

Brain Chemistry

Then again, maybe it’s simply a matter of brain chemistry.

Mayr and his colleagues used MRI scanners to watch what happens in the nucleus accumbens – identified by neuroscientists as the brain’s reward centers – when people observed money being transferred to themselves and to a charity. For about half the study participants (and 75% of the older participants, as noted earlier), the transfer to a charity lit up the reward centers. In other words, seeing money donated to others generated positive reactions.

The brain chemistry thesis goes one stop farther. Researchers discovered that people who are given doses of oxytocin, a natural hormone associated with sexual reproduction and lactation, tend to exhibit selfless, altruistic behavior. Dr. Narun Pornpattrananangkul, a researcher at the University of Otago, suggests that the increased generosity of older adults might be the result of a greater release of oxytocin in the brain.

Kindness and generosity are good things, mostly. But sometimes they can cause problems. I am thinking here of the professional scammers who prey on older adults because, as the FBI notes, “Seniors are often targeted because they tend to be trusting and polite.”

But an increasing tendency towards generosity and caring is a net positive. “Expressing acts of kindness is good for aging well,” writes columnist Helen Dennis. It counters stress “by boosting hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood.”

I think of it this way: Whenever I feel like loose screws are rattling around in my brain, I tell myself it’s just the oxytocin dispenser loosening up. And there’s nothing wrong with a few more warm glowing feelings that come from being kind.

As long as we’re on the subject of generosity, here’s an idea to fire up your neurons: Consider a paid subscription to The EndGame. For just $50 per year, you can show your support for independent, reader-centered, advertiser-free journalism about aging with purpose and joy. And at least one of us will feel a warm glow.