When does “old age” begin?
Is it a number? A parts inventory? When I say so?
Photo by Maria Lupan on Unsplash
This week I celebrated another birthday (73, thank you very much) with the customary rituals of witty cards, calls from my siblings, and dozens of birthday clicks from Facebook friends. I appreciate all the wishes for my wellness. However, each of my last few birthdays has felt less celebratory because of the troubling question that gets in my head and refuses to leave: Am I old yet?
This is the sort of question that does not make easy conversation at the dinner table, or anywhere else for that matter. It’s the question that, if the truth be known, I would rather not discuss, ever. (Which begs another question: Why is that?)
To be completely honest, I must admit that I have been played. Despite my best intentions, and despite knowing better, I have allowed society’s ageist attitudes to infiltrate my consciousness.
We (I assume I am not alone in feeling this way) resist labeling ourselves as old because old age is still stigmatized. We resist because we know that the outside world conflates old age with weakness, wrinkles, frailty, sexlessness, losing it upstairs, antiquity. Old people are called names, most of them are kind: geezer, old fart, crone, biddy, relic, shriveled. They outnumber the times an old person is described respectfully as a sage or elder by ten to one.
But facts are facts. We are getting older. So when are we “old?”
I looked for a definitive answer, but the answers turn out to be multifaceted. Let’s turn them over, one facet at a time.
Historical
The age at which old age begins is different in different eras. In 1900, many gerontologists believed old age began at 47. Over many centuries and civilizations, the consensus was that a man or woman in their 50s or 60s was old. Although the Bible does not state clearly when old age begins, we do know that “the days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years.” (Psalm 90:10)
Voice of the People
A survey published last month in Psychology and Aging Journal found that people in their mid-60s peg the start of old age at 75 – and the older people are, the later they think old age begins. The survey’s lead author, Markus Wettstein, said respondents today see the beginning of old age later than their peers 10 and 20 years ago. “Some people have such a negative view of the elderly that they don’t want to be associated with them,” says John Rowe, a Columbia University professor of health policy and aging. “So if they’re 60 years old, they’ll say old age begins at 75. And when they get to 75, they’ll say old age begins at 80.”
Young men (ages 16-34), by the way, said in a 2018 survey that old age begins at 56. Young women said old age begins at 61. But who cares what they think?
Gerontological
Recognizing that a typical 60-year-old is in quite a different place than a typical 90-year-old, gerontologists are dividing old age into phases. One popular divvy is young-old (65-74), middle-old (75-84), and old-old (85 and up). They also see the first two phases as a separate life stage of active retirement, which they variously name Third Age, Encore Years, Third Chapter, or Adulthood II. I prefer to call it The AfterWork.
Bureaucratic
For statistical purposes, the federal government uses age 65 to mark the start of old age. Since Medicare eligibility starts at 65 and Social Security did until recently, this is a convenient number for compiling research.
AARP issues membership cards at age 50, but nobody accepts that a 50-year-old is elderly. Not even AARP.
The World Economic Forum has begun defining old age through a measure they call “prospective age,” which means that it starts at the point when the average person has 15 years left to live. If 60-year-olds on average live to be 85, for example, then old age starts at 70. This measure would be more useful if we knew when we were going to die and could count backwards.
Common Sensical
Chronology is not a good measure of old age. Age is more a state of mind. “By itself your age indicates little or nothing about your health, happiness, or likely longevity,” says Tracey Gendron, author of Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. Moreover, there’s a considerable body of evidence suggesting that your mindset makes a sizeable difference in both how well you live and how long you live. British researchers Hannah Kuper and Sir Michael Marmot asked people when they thought old age began. When they followed up six to nine years later, the people who thought old age began earlier were more likely to have had a heart attack, heart disease, or in poor physical health. Becca Levy of the Yale School of Public Health made a similar finding: People with positive outlooks on their own aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those who were less positive.
“We’re taught that aging is a process of decline,” says Gendron, “but we’re actually always growing and developing.”
To sum it up, I have not found a numerical answer to the question of when old age begins. But it seems that the more positive you are about your own aging, the longer it will be before old age sets in.
Or, to answer the question with a philosophical twist: I think I am not, therefore I am not.
My husband (81) and I (78) have been fortunate in terms of our health. This gives us the freedom to think about what aging really means to us. It's not so much about appearance or energy level as it is about approaching mortality. The older you get, the more the end of life becomes real. So "the work" involves understanding that life and death are part of a whole and constitute the human condition. It's not bad, as such, it just is. For everyone.
My mother and father are 81/82. My mother still does yoga and works with my father in the fam business. They don't seem old to me- still spry and doers of things. It seems my family, for the most part, lives into the 90's. I feel "old" because my body is visually changing so i'm still on that ride fighting like hell to stave off that elder look due to collagen loss; a dead giveaway of an older woman..the shift is happening. Age-wise, it's scary. 50 wasn't so bad but as 60 approaches in a few years its feels funny, almost unbelievable. Never thought about it and now it's coming! I often wonder about me turning 80+..i'm not ready, mostly because it is on the back end of life, I think... Happy birthday!