Interesting that "crone" has taken on a more nuanced meaning of late & is embraced by many women. I read that crone comes from "crown" (head) and refers to wisdom and the ability to "see" with more than just the eyes.
I have been fortunate in my health, so I can't speak with authority about what it's like to age with compromised mobility, for example. But for me, the slowing down, the deeper recognition of what has value, the opportunity to be better at loving, are occasions for joy.
I like the term "elder." It is the term that indigenous people call their most valued members of their society ... the old ones, the ones who have lived through the toughest times and can tell the young about it. They can help solve the young ones' problems with trustworthy advice. Their primary job is to teach and tend to the children while the parents work to sustain the necessities of living. They remember and can teach the lifeways that helped the tribe survive for millennia. I also like "crone." The old lady who lives alone in the woods who understand the healing power of the plants and can renew life with a kind word and a potion.
Our youth culture is boosted by AARP, an organization that recruits members at age 45. For pete's sake, people that age are just getting started in life. They're just getting warmed up. And AARP is bent on "helping" them navigate their aging issues. In America, we have an extended adolescence because we don't want to become adults, and once there, our health and fitness industries suck billions of dollars out of our retirements funds with all of their hooey!
Perhaps we need to embrace adulthood too, seeing as how so many people dread living through that exciting, self-affirming time of life. All stages of life are beautiful, so we need to embrace them all and remember that one is really no better or worse than the others.
THANK you! I have been waging my own personal campaign, calling myself "old" without shame, but as usual, you make the case with simplicity and clarity. As you said, it’s not an insult unless we let it be--the label is not the problem. We need to take "old" back, with pride!
I totally agree with you. Ever since I turned 75 and realised that I was literally, chronologically old, I repeatedly mention that I'm old, just in the course of conversation when it is relevant. I've learned to treat protests (You're not old! )calmly and matter-of-factly and it does change the tone. When an obviously old person (now 85) uses the word objectively, matter-of-factly, without emotion, it's like a magic spell. Which works ... sometimes.
After reaching 90 I found out it’s very different than being in the 80s. It becomes an age that the rest of the community sees as the entrance to a whole different world. And reacts to in a very difference way than the 80s. No one warned me about this. I found out the hard way. Someone should write about it.
Nice piece. I hit my 65th birthday a few weeks ago. When people express shock on hearing my age, saying “you don’t look 65,” I reply “this is what 65 looks like.” Still, it feels a touch weird to tell receptionists at doctors’ offices “I’m on Medicare.”
I love ‘old’ - saying it, being it and rebranding it. Our generation will redefine what it looks like for future generations. It’s never been done like this before, in so many places, in so many ways.
Interesting that "crone" has taken on a more nuanced meaning of late & is embraced by many women. I read that crone comes from "crown" (head) and refers to wisdom and the ability to "see" with more than just the eyes.
Wendl, good point! It's so hard to keep up with changes in word connotations.
I have been fortunate in my health, so I can't speak with authority about what it's like to age with compromised mobility, for example. But for me, the slowing down, the deeper recognition of what has value, the opportunity to be better at loving, are occasions for joy.
Susie, exactly right. It's not all about losses and negatives. The positives are there when we open our eyes to them.
I like the term "elder." It is the term that indigenous people call their most valued members of their society ... the old ones, the ones who have lived through the toughest times and can tell the young about it. They can help solve the young ones' problems with trustworthy advice. Their primary job is to teach and tend to the children while the parents work to sustain the necessities of living. They remember and can teach the lifeways that helped the tribe survive for millennia. I also like "crone." The old lady who lives alone in the woods who understand the healing power of the plants and can renew life with a kind word and a potion.
Our youth culture is boosted by AARP, an organization that recruits members at age 45. For pete's sake, people that age are just getting started in life. They're just getting warmed up. And AARP is bent on "helping" them navigate their aging issues. In America, we have an extended adolescence because we don't want to become adults, and once there, our health and fitness industries suck billions of dollars out of our retirements funds with all of their hooey!
Perhaps we need to embrace adulthood too, seeing as how so many people dread living through that exciting, self-affirming time of life. All stages of life are beautiful, so we need to embrace them all and remember that one is really no better or worse than the others.
Sue, well said!
Thank you. Wordy, I know, but .....
THANK you! I have been waging my own personal campaign, calling myself "old" without shame, but as usual, you make the case with simplicity and clarity. As you said, it’s not an insult unless we let it be--the label is not the problem. We need to take "old" back, with pride!
Miriam, always happy to lend support to your campaign.
I totally agree with you. Ever since I turned 75 and realised that I was literally, chronologically old, I repeatedly mention that I'm old, just in the course of conversation when it is relevant. I've learned to treat protests (You're not old! )calmly and matter-of-factly and it does change the tone. When an obviously old person (now 85) uses the word objectively, matter-of-factly, without emotion, it's like a magic spell. Which works ... sometimes.
After reaching 90 I found out it’s very different than being in the 80s. It becomes an age that the rest of the community sees as the entrance to a whole different world. And reacts to in a very difference way than the 80s. No one warned me about this. I found out the hard way. Someone should write about it.
Mary, thanks for pointing that out. I have never heard anyone say that before.
Nice piece. I hit my 65th birthday a few weeks ago. When people express shock on hearing my age, saying “you don’t look 65,” I reply “this is what 65 looks like.” Still, it feels a touch weird to tell receptionists at doctors’ offices “I’m on Medicare.”
I love ‘old’ - saying it, being it and rebranding it. Our generation will redefine what it looks like for future generations. It’s never been done like this before, in so many places, in so many ways.
Avivah, I totally agree.
Well said, as always my friend. I don’t mind “elder” 😊. My Dad used to say “alte cocker”! 🤦🏻😂
Amy, was alte cocker a neutral label? I always wondered.
Lol! Maybe originally for old geezer men…. But I think it can just mean a bunch of old people.
Aging is not for the faint of heart….but it certainly beats the alternative. It is something denied to many.
Great article.
Thanks, Kathy!
Good work, Don. Would like to see you write more on the topic.
I appreciate that, Wayne. I'll keep it in mind.