There's a great (and really disturbing) article in the current Atlantic by Derek Thompson entitled "The Anti-Social Century." It's not exactly on your topic but I think it's related. All about the alarming increase in self-imposed isolation. My guess is that if people understood the importance of community they would have a better idea of what to do with themselves after they stop working.
My husband, born in '56, is an anomaly. His dad cooked, helped with the dishes and housework, and worked full-time at Ma Bell. His mom worked, too, in a department store. Everyone was raised to help out. He's a crier and so was his dad.
My husband enjoys not working (though he has a part-time job), while I do not.
I wonder how some people managed to slip through the gender norm cracks.
I suspect the same problems of career identity will happen with women who embraced the clarion call of Women's Lib and burdened their lives even further with career, kids, and housework. Brainwashing works on everybody. The girls of the age group you discuss here also endured instructions to be happy homemakers and supportive wives, disappearing into their children's accomplishments and only going to college to get that coveted MRS degree. Oh the rancor I felt at those stupid candle-passing rituals.
A very good article. My dad was born in 1911 and I remember him being tied into this traditional way of thinking about what men are and what is expected of them. He worked hard all his life and sadly didn't get to retire, dying at 52. So many of his cohorts died in their fifties. Younger men of today have similar battles to fight between tradition and progression. This really set me thinking. Thank you for it
Great article that I’ll be sharing with my brother.
He was born in ‘59 and has worked remotely for the past 10 years. (He worries about not being politically correct especially after a few drinks) because societal norms have changed a lot.
He feels people are too easily offended these days and avoids social situations except with family.
Interestingly he fears retirement. (I’ll let him know about the Atlantic article, too.) This is a widespread problem for lots of men due to their upbringing. Thanks for shining a well needed light. 💡
Very informative. It would be great if men generally felt safer and more comfortable talking about their fears, concerns and feelings--to friends as well as professionals. We all need a person or two with whom it's OK to express vulnerability and not be negatively judged for it.
There's a great (and really disturbing) article in the current Atlantic by Derek Thompson entitled "The Anti-Social Century." It's not exactly on your topic but I think it's related. All about the alarming increase in self-imposed isolation. My guess is that if people understood the importance of community they would have a better idea of what to do with themselves after they stop working.
Thanks, Susie. I will check it out. I think it is related, since we of the male persuasion are not especially gifted at maintaining close friendships.
My husband, born in '56, is an anomaly. His dad cooked, helped with the dishes and housework, and worked full-time at Ma Bell. His mom worked, too, in a department store. Everyone was raised to help out. He's a crier and so was his dad.
My husband enjoys not working (though he has a part-time job), while I do not.
I wonder how some people managed to slip through the gender norm cracks.
Leslie, I suppose some men, like your husband, were never comfortable following the other sheep.
I suspect the same problems of career identity will happen with women who embraced the clarion call of Women's Lib and burdened their lives even further with career, kids, and housework. Brainwashing works on everybody. The girls of the age group you discuss here also endured instructions to be happy homemakers and supportive wives, disappearing into their children's accomplishments and only going to college to get that coveted MRS degree. Oh the rancor I felt at those stupid candle-passing rituals.
Sue, good of you to assure the women of equal time.
A very good article. My dad was born in 1911 and I remember him being tied into this traditional way of thinking about what men are and what is expected of them. He worked hard all his life and sadly didn't get to retire, dying at 52. So many of his cohorts died in their fifties. Younger men of today have similar battles to fight between tradition and progression. This really set me thinking. Thank you for it
Patricia, thank you for adding this story to the conversation.
Great article that I’ll be sharing with my brother.
He was born in ‘59 and has worked remotely for the past 10 years. (He worries about not being politically correct especially after a few drinks) because societal norms have changed a lot.
He feels people are too easily offended these days and avoids social situations except with family.
Interestingly he fears retirement. (I’ll let him know about the Atlantic article, too.) This is a widespread problem for lots of men due to their upbringing. Thanks for shining a well needed light. 💡
Thank you for the kind words!
One of your very best ever contributions to understanding geezers!
Thank you, my fellow geezer!
Very informative. It would be great if men generally felt safer and more comfortable talking about their fears, concerns and feelings--to friends as well as professionals. We all need a person or two with whom it's OK to express vulnerability and not be negatively judged for it.
Wendl, that's very true - and easier said than done. Breaking this embedded programming is as hard a struggle as escaping earth's gravity.