26 Comments

Don, you are a perfect example of how to have a fulfilling retired career. I hear more and more of retired people using their skills in new ways. A retired financial planner just told me she was working with people in a community centre helping with financial literacy and plans to reduce debt.

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Thank you for your kind words, Alice.

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You? Fade into irrelevance? From where I sit, you're more "relevant" than ever!

Personally, I don't care if anyone finds me relevant. I'd be happy pulling weeds in my garden and puttering instead of working ridiculously hard .... still.

But I do understand: the knowledge that has taken decades to accrue is valuable, and I'm grateful to be able to share it.

g

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Gina, you're plenty relevant whether you like it or not. Your book isn't going out of print anytime soon.

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lol. I really don't like it. But I feel obliged!

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Great insights about the challenges of switching gears. Even I, who could not wait to leave biotech behind and become a full time author, have the occasional moment of nostalgia for business trips to cool places and even for meetings (of all things). But those moments are fleeting and infrequent. I suggest cultivating our capacity for play and creativity — which many of us set aside when we “grew up” — as another key strategy to becoming our full selves in later life.

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Absolutely, Stella. The play's the thing, as someone once said.

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Staying active is very important!

I published the magazine "Active Aging" to understand the dimension of independence, selfconfidence plays a key role in their lives; t’s important to show older people how worthy, appreciated, and beautiful they are every day.

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan

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I’d add another point, which you’ve recommended in other columns: Cultivate younger friends. I find it a little shocking at times (What, they don’t know who Randy Newman is?), but they keep you on your toes, and if you do it right (a skill I’m still learning), they can provide the audience for you to take on the role of the wise elder.

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Thanks, Miriam. It's a good plan.

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I think some people,though, are always on the periphery even in their youthful heyday . Especially if you’re an introvert. Also if you’re in sales you might only be as relevant as your last sale. All your points are spot on. Key to a good aging is movement and social activity and having a passion for something to look forward to. Otherwise it could be easy to,slip into irrelevance just in your mind. Another great read and reminder to stay awake!!

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Thank you, Michelle. Guess we introverts have to make some noise every now and then. Your own flowering is inspiring!

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I was never 'my job' That is why I am happier, healthier and doing much better since retirement some 22 years ago.

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Congratulations, John. That's how it should be.

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I know that becoming wise is not a given in old age (lots of examples of the opposite being true) but this well-crafted essay shines with the kind of elder wisdom that keeps us "third actors" more than a little relevant today.

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I also have a similar recurring dream where I’m thrust back into revolving scenarios from my past career. I’m not sure I have a “desperate fear” of irrelevance because I love the freedom retirement brings, and my life is so full with things I love to do, on my own schedule. In particular (if stereotypically), my garden, my grandchildren and travelling bring me great joy. But my brain can’t seem to reconcile that achievement-focused, “productive” part of my life with this one!

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As usual..spot on. As one trying again to ease slowly into retirement it is interesting to observe that my spouse has very different ideas of what I should find relevant to me now. Ah, a challenge..and trying to remain positive.

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Yes, so many challenges! I hope you find what's truly relevant to you, with or without that helpful assistance.

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Been retired now for ten years and still have those dreams of being at work and trying to get the job done. Never the less I have found considerable refuge in the study of music.

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On the positive side, it must be such a relief to wake up!

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You are a wise man!

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Not so, but trying to move in that direction. Thanks!

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What if you're a terrible judge of just how wise you are, just sayin'. . . .

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Thank you so much for those kind words, Paula!

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Sorry to hear you have those dreams too, but it sounds like you have your waking life firmly under control.

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I was never 'my job' That is why I am happier, healthier and doing much better since retirement some 22 years ago.

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