I am fortunate that I work (perform) in quite a few "upscale" senior living homes but just because they are "upscale" , they are not necessarily free from abusive individuals.
I try to always be on the lookout for those who are abused or neglected. Many times, especially in memory care units, people are dumped and forgotten.
Don, this is horrifying. I thought I was aware of elder abuse, but I had no idea of the sheer scale of it, nor did I know about trafficking. I wish I were more surprised. We need to take action, yes , demanding more attention and funding for the problem. We also urgently need a full and frank conversation about the widespread failure of empathy and compassion. I heard a UK radio interviewee yesterday ask "Where are the grown -ups?" In a nursing home being ignored and exploited, apparently.
Such a surprising and useful article, and I'm right there with you on bullying. My daughter used to train medical staff to be aware of possible domestic violence when doing patient intake, and in recent years, I've been glad to see that I've been asked during the routine medical question session whether I feel safe at home. What interests me is how I'd answer that question if I weren't feeling safe. It's not enough just to ask--it can't be treated as just another item on the checklist. The medical professional has to listen carefully, leave space for an answer, and look for behavioral cues.
And there is variance in states as to mandatory reporting laws for elder abuse; it's my understanding that some ERs will check & report for child abuse, but don't have parallel systems in place for older people. We need national standards for monitoring, reporting, follow-up, etc.
Thanks for opening our eyes. I remember a particularly egregious situation when my mother was still young enough to take the train to visit me. A well-dressed, smooth operator sat next to her, poured on the flattery and tried to sell her some investments. Fortunately, she didn't give him any contact info, but I could see that he had succeeded in winning her over. Older women alone are very vulnerable to this kind of come-on.
Thank you for sharing this important information. Scams are another form of elder abuse, I think. Older adults are less suspecting and vulnerable in many cases.
I’m aware of this kind of abuse as well as emotional. Emotional (family) elder abuse creeps in From younger times and wears down the now elder into a puddle of helplessness. It’s terrible and often times is tolerated by the elder and puts them in denial. A brainwashing of sorts that can’t be seen by the abused.
Something a friend once quoted me from an introductory psych text: A family is an organization for the systematic inculcation of mental illness in all its members.
I found this piece particularly moving. I really had no idea of the extent of abuse and, like you, thought we outgrew the bullies in our life. I recently saw the film 'The Sound of Freedom' which is about the hidden epidemic of child sex trafficking and it shocks me that elder people are also vulnerable to this. Thanks for sharing this piece - and for recommending my own substack.
I am fortunate that I work (perform) in quite a few "upscale" senior living homes but just because they are "upscale" , they are not necessarily free from abusive individuals.
I try to always be on the lookout for those who are abused or neglected. Many times, especially in memory care units, people are dumped and forgotten.
Thank you, Don, for this wake-up call!
Don, this is horrifying. I thought I was aware of elder abuse, but I had no idea of the sheer scale of it, nor did I know about trafficking. I wish I were more surprised. We need to take action, yes , demanding more attention and funding for the problem. We also urgently need a full and frank conversation about the widespread failure of empathy and compassion. I heard a UK radio interviewee yesterday ask "Where are the grown -ups?" In a nursing home being ignored and exploited, apparently.
I was surprised myself.
Such a surprising and useful article, and I'm right there with you on bullying. My daughter used to train medical staff to be aware of possible domestic violence when doing patient intake, and in recent years, I've been glad to see that I've been asked during the routine medical question session whether I feel safe at home. What interests me is how I'd answer that question if I weren't feeling safe. It's not enough just to ask--it can't be treated as just another item on the checklist. The medical professional has to listen carefully, leave space for an answer, and look for behavioral cues.
And there is variance in states as to mandatory reporting laws for elder abuse; it's my understanding that some ERs will check & report for child abuse, but don't have parallel systems in place for older people. We need national standards for monitoring, reporting, follow-up, etc.
Yes, our systems have some catching up to do.
Thanks for opening our eyes. I remember a particularly egregious situation when my mother was still young enough to take the train to visit me. A well-dressed, smooth operator sat next to her, poured on the flattery and tried to sell her some investments. Fortunately, she didn't give him any contact info, but I could see that he had succeeded in winning her over. Older women alone are very vulnerable to this kind of come-on.
I have read that we tend to be more open and generous as we age, which makes this type of situation all the more dangerous.
My response had more to do with my mother's vanity. She wanted so much to be flattered by a man that she was willing to give up the store.
An excellent and important article. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this important information. Scams are another form of elder abuse, I think. Older adults are less suspecting and vulnerable in many cases.
Very true. We'll save that discussion for another time.
I’m aware of this kind of abuse as well as emotional. Emotional (family) elder abuse creeps in From younger times and wears down the now elder into a puddle of helplessness. It’s terrible and often times is tolerated by the elder and puts them in denial. A brainwashing of sorts that can’t be seen by the abused.
Something a friend once quoted me from an introductory psych text: A family is an organization for the systematic inculcation of mental illness in all its members.
That’s not good…
Please, say it isn't so . . . .
Would that I could.
Hey Don,
I found this piece particularly moving. I really had no idea of the extent of abuse and, like you, thought we outgrew the bullies in our life. I recently saw the film 'The Sound of Freedom' which is about the hidden epidemic of child sex trafficking and it shocks me that elder people are also vulnerable to this. Thanks for sharing this piece - and for recommending my own substack.
Gabriela x