Depending on the situation, all the options are viable. My first invisibility was in my late 60s when I'd been waiting a long time for a male store representative to finish with a customer. He clearly saw me waiting just a couple feet away when a young 20s woman walked in. The minute the clerk was free, he turned to help the young woman. I loudly claimed my status as next in line for service--and got it. Was I invisible to the man, or just irrelevant? I didn't care and I wasn't putting up with it.
Invisibility is an accompaniment of loss. We see it particularly in siblings of children with a chronic and/or life limiting illness. Perception of invisibility depends on many factors. Perhaps a driver is basic temperament: introverts may relish in reclamation of privacy in a digital world. Extroverts may struggle to find a fitting substitute for whatever had been lost or set aside. Wisdom would pertain to pursuit of one’s own sense of value.
It's just a really good idea to stay in touch with a community that makes us relevant, whether of peers or intergenerational, whether membership in a group of some kind, by working, or by volunteering.
I've definitely gotten mouthier as I've gotten older. When I see salespeople, bank officers, etc. chatting among themselves as if I weren't there, I no longer wait meekly on the sidelines: I assume it's the usual generational blindness and I interrupt their conversation. Often their reaction is one of surprise, not that I interrupted them but because they truly didn't realize someone needed their attention. On occasions when it's clear that I'm being deliberately ignored, it's All Filters Off and I make myself un-ignorable clearly and LOUDLY. It probably helps that I taught in a high school ;)
Depending on the situation, all the options are viable. My first invisibility was in my late 60s when I'd been waiting a long time for a male store representative to finish with a customer. He clearly saw me waiting just a couple feet away when a young 20s woman walked in. The minute the clerk was free, he turned to help the young woman. I loudly claimed my status as next in line for service--and got it. Was I invisible to the man, or just irrelevant? I didn't care and I wasn't putting up with it.
Good job!
Invisibility is an accompaniment of loss. We see it particularly in siblings of children with a chronic and/or life limiting illness. Perception of invisibility depends on many factors. Perhaps a driver is basic temperament: introverts may relish in reclamation of privacy in a digital world. Extroverts may struggle to find a fitting substitute for whatever had been lost or set aside. Wisdom would pertain to pursuit of one’s own sense of value.
Patti, as always you add depth to my surface skimmings, and I always appreciate it.
It's just a really good idea to stay in touch with a community that makes us relevant, whether of peers or intergenerational, whether membership in a group of some kind, by working, or by volunteering.
Good answer. Reminds me of a song: People who need other people are the luckiest people...
I'm a #4 person. The older I get, the more engaged I am with my inner life.
We are all grateful beneficiaries of your engagement.
You flatter me. I know I sound like a broken record, but I honestly don't know another way.
I've definitely gotten mouthier as I've gotten older. When I see salespeople, bank officers, etc. chatting among themselves as if I weren't there, I no longer wait meekly on the sidelines: I assume it's the usual generational blindness and I interrupt their conversation. Often their reaction is one of surprise, not that I interrupted them but because they truly didn't realize someone needed their attention. On occasions when it's clear that I'm being deliberately ignored, it's All Filters Off and I make myself un-ignorable clearly and LOUDLY. It probably helps that I taught in a high school ;)
Thanks for that rousing testimonial for Option 1.
Don, I enjoy and admire all of your writing, and this stands out as an example of your talent. A brilliant article! More!
Aw, shucks!
That sounds like Option 3, always a good choice.