Depending on the situation, all the options are viable. My first invisibility was in my late 60s when I'd been waiting a long time for a male store representative to finish with a customer. He clearly saw me waiting just a couple feet away when a young 20s woman walked in. The minute the clerk was free, he turned to help the young woman. I loudly claimed my status as next in line for service--and got it. Was I invisible to the man, or just irrelevant? I didn't care and I wasn't putting up with it.
Invisibility is an accompaniment of loss. We see it particularly in siblings of children with a chronic and/or life limiting illness. Perception of invisibility depends on many factors. Perhaps a driver is basic temperament: introverts may relish in reclamation of privacy in a digital world. Extroverts may struggle to find a fitting substitute for whatever had been lost or set aside. Wisdom would pertain to pursuit of one’s own sense of value.
It's just a really good idea to stay in touch with a community that makes us relevant, whether of peers or intergenerational, whether membership in a group of some kind, by working, or by volunteering.
I've definitely gotten mouthier as I've gotten older. When I see salespeople, bank officers, etc. chatting among themselves as if I weren't there, I no longer wait meekly on the sidelines: I assume it's the usual generational blindness and I interrupt their conversation. Often their reaction is one of surprise, not that I interrupted them but because they truly didn't realize someone needed their attention. On occasions when it's clear that I'm being deliberately ignored, it's All Filters Off and I make myself un-ignorable clearly and LOUDLY. It probably helps that I taught in a high school ;)
Depending on the situation, all the options are viable. My first invisibility was in my late 60s when I'd been waiting a long time for a male store representative to finish with a customer. He clearly saw me waiting just a couple feet away when a young 20s woman walked in. The minute the clerk was free, he turned to help the young woman. I loudly claimed my status as next in line for service--and got it. Was I invisible to the man, or just irrelevant? I didn't care and I wasn't putting up with it.
Invisibility is an accompaniment of loss. We see it particularly in siblings of children with a chronic and/or life limiting illness. Perception of invisibility depends on many factors. Perhaps a driver is basic temperament: introverts may relish in reclamation of privacy in a digital world. Extroverts may struggle to find a fitting substitute for whatever had been lost or set aside. Wisdom would pertain to pursuit of one’s own sense of value.
It's just a really good idea to stay in touch with a community that makes us relevant, whether of peers or intergenerational, whether membership in a group of some kind, by working, or by volunteering.
I'm a #4 person. The older I get, the more engaged I am with my inner life.
I've definitely gotten mouthier as I've gotten older. When I see salespeople, bank officers, etc. chatting among themselves as if I weren't there, I no longer wait meekly on the sidelines: I assume it's the usual generational blindness and I interrupt their conversation. Often their reaction is one of surprise, not that I interrupted them but because they truly didn't realize someone needed their attention. On occasions when it's clear that I'm being deliberately ignored, it's All Filters Off and I make myself un-ignorable clearly and LOUDLY. It probably helps that I taught in a high school ;)
Don, I enjoy and admire all of your writing, and this stands out as an example of your talent. A brilliant article! More!