The intergenerational opportunities I come across most often pair olders with children or teens, who may fun to do projects with but not people we'd rely upon as our support team. It's a challenge to meet people in their 40s-early 60s with whom we can develop mutually beneficial relationships. Opportunities to meet interested solo agers in that age range would be great, we'd have a lot to offer one another and provide them with a positive, less daunting model for what it really means to get old.
A helpful and thoughtful piece. As you indicate human connection is key. It's best to think about this and start when we are a little younger so these connections are in place when we are older and need them.
Electronic companions sound way less of a good idea than pets (when having pets is practical!) I do heartily agree that having young people in ones life is an excellent idea, whether in a formal program, by co-living arrangements, or simply by staying in touch. It's just too easy to get jaundiced about the young, especially when the media feeds us simplistic narratives about different generations. I valued my relationships with elders when I was a teen, still do, and am enjoying becoming an elder myself. Oh, and thank you for acknowledging that not everyone is a joiner! Every time I consider joining a club, my heart sinks a bit. Although going to a meeting or two can help connect with someone else who looks uncomfortable. 😂
I would add that all relationships are to some degree reciprocal. So....if you have mobility challenges and don't drive, for example, it would mean a lot to the friends who visit if you would call or email to check up on THEIR wellbeing. It may seem like a lot to ask a person who has a great many challenges, but in fact outreach is extremely nourishing to the one reaching out.
As an introvert I found that practicing TM was a good way to connect with other introverts without having to really engage or converse much. Even though they say meditation is effortless, it still take discipline but it works and the collective experience during group TM (Transcendental Meditation) is powerful.
My wife and I moved 1,000 miles to a place where we didn't grow up and our only son wasn't raised or went to school. We moved to be near the grands. At first there was isolation rendered somewhat less discomforting only by family. We knew we'd never be able to make new "old" friendships ever again. COVID sure didn't help us make new friendships. Somehow, the word "rekindle" popped onto the scene. Since, I've rekindled a relationship from my pre-teen life via some lucky connections I don't even recall. I've rekindled a relationship with my date to my high school junior prom via a web site for the 1964 graduating class there. I've rekindled a relationship with pledge class fraternity brothers from the same era via an alumni website. I've rekindled relationships with friends from my early work life, middle work life, and late work life social media. The warmth of all has taken the unhappy chill off that early isolation.
Hi, Don. This is helpful generic advice, but in my opinion sidesteps the issue of loneliness resulting from loss of professional and work-related activities. For many if not most of your readers, the idea of befriending Alexa or signing up for pastimes that we never cared for anyway is a meager substitute for meaning lost when work stops. I realize that I may be more work-oriented than some, but I still believe that better advice might be to preserve a semblance of engagement with people, places, and things that offer continuity.
The intergenerational opportunities I come across most often pair olders with children or teens, who may fun to do projects with but not people we'd rely upon as our support team. It's a challenge to meet people in their 40s-early 60s with whom we can develop mutually beneficial relationships. Opportunities to meet interested solo agers in that age range would be great, we'd have a lot to offer one another and provide them with a positive, less daunting model for what it really means to get old.
A helpful and thoughtful piece. As you indicate human connection is key. It's best to think about this and start when we are a little younger so these connections are in place when we are older and need them.
Electronic companions sound way less of a good idea than pets (when having pets is practical!) I do heartily agree that having young people in ones life is an excellent idea, whether in a formal program, by co-living arrangements, or simply by staying in touch. It's just too easy to get jaundiced about the young, especially when the media feeds us simplistic narratives about different generations. I valued my relationships with elders when I was a teen, still do, and am enjoying becoming an elder myself. Oh, and thank you for acknowledging that not everyone is a joiner! Every time I consider joining a club, my heart sinks a bit. Although going to a meeting or two can help connect with someone else who looks uncomfortable. 😂
I would add that all relationships are to some degree reciprocal. So....if you have mobility challenges and don't drive, for example, it would mean a lot to the friends who visit if you would call or email to check up on THEIR wellbeing. It may seem like a lot to ask a person who has a great many challenges, but in fact outreach is extremely nourishing to the one reaching out.
As an introvert I found that practicing TM was a good way to connect with other introverts without having to really engage or converse much. Even though they say meditation is effortless, it still take discipline but it works and the collective experience during group TM (Transcendental Meditation) is powerful.
That song is brilliant. Thank you.
Savor life with others in various ways. That's essentially what I hear you suggesting.
You provided so many helpful suggestions on how to avoid or get out of loneliness.
Staying connected helps us thrive mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You touched on it all.
My wife and I moved 1,000 miles to a place where we didn't grow up and our only son wasn't raised or went to school. We moved to be near the grands. At first there was isolation rendered somewhat less discomforting only by family. We knew we'd never be able to make new "old" friendships ever again. COVID sure didn't help us make new friendships. Somehow, the word "rekindle" popped onto the scene. Since, I've rekindled a relationship from my pre-teen life via some lucky connections I don't even recall. I've rekindled a relationship with my date to my high school junior prom via a web site for the 1964 graduating class there. I've rekindled a relationship with pledge class fraternity brothers from the same era via an alumni website. I've rekindled relationships with friends from my early work life, middle work life, and late work life social media. The warmth of all has taken the unhappy chill off that early isolation.
Hi, Don. This is helpful generic advice, but in my opinion sidesteps the issue of loneliness resulting from loss of professional and work-related activities. For many if not most of your readers, the idea of befriending Alexa or signing up for pastimes that we never cared for anyway is a meager substitute for meaning lost when work stops. I realize that I may be more work-oriented than some, but I still believe that better advice might be to preserve a semblance of engagement with people, places, and things that offer continuity.