In my experience, some people diagnosed with Alzheimer's become angry and abusive with their caregivers. Others become universally loving as if the changes they are going through unleash a deep well of kindness that they may not have experienced before. Which way the individual's personality progresses seems entirely random. I hope for my sake and my husband's that if I am diagnosed with dementia, I fall into the second group.
Thanks. Living in a 55+ community we’ve watched a number of friends receive this diagnosis or others progress on the continuum to needing greater levels of support and care. I think that the strain on caregivers, usually spouses is tremendous as the person you love changes, needs greater support. The constant readjusting, planning and having less independence yourself appears to take a toll. I try to offer support, giving a caregiver a break and spending time with the one with the diagnosis. It’s hard to watch from outside. I can’t imagine being on the inside.
My neighbour and good friend is living with advancing dementia, and I say "living with” and not "suffering from.” He is 97, and occasionally a little despondent as he recognizes that all that he was and had are slipping away. But mostly life goes in a comfortable way. His social graces and charm are still with him. His wife loves him, and he loves her. He still lives at home thanks to help from family, social services and privately employed caregivers. Family, friends and neighbours drop in daily. He was an illustrious artist and that is now behind him. But what lies ahead is far better than bearable. He is still himself and he still has the world.
I really appreciate your changed perspective on this issue. But try as I may, I find it hard to wrap my brain around this one. It scares the shit out of me, even though I have had a lot of experience being around cognitively impaired seniors.
Don, thanks hugely for this. So well timed! In a few weeks I’m going to visit an old friend from our DC days; she’s recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and we’re all (close friends and her family) adjusting. She recently asked me to write about “how to deliver bad medical news” — what are ideas and approaches that are useful. I’m already working on this essay and will be quoting you! P.S. As an illustration that the intelligent person is still there, my newly-diagnosed friend asked me this question!
Beautifully stated Don. I will share this with the many caregivers in my community; as well as those close to me who can learn from your thoughtful approach to a difficult concept.
In my experience, some people diagnosed with Alzheimer's become angry and abusive with their caregivers. Others become universally loving as if the changes they are going through unleash a deep well of kindness that they may not have experienced before. Which way the individual's personality progresses seems entirely random. I hope for my sake and my husband's that if I am diagnosed with dementia, I fall into the second group.
Susie, I share that hope for myself.
Thanks. Living in a 55+ community we’ve watched a number of friends receive this diagnosis or others progress on the continuum to needing greater levels of support and care. I think that the strain on caregivers, usually spouses is tremendous as the person you love changes, needs greater support. The constant readjusting, planning and having less independence yourself appears to take a toll. I try to offer support, giving a caregiver a break and spending time with the one with the diagnosis. It’s hard to watch from outside. I can’t imagine being on the inside.
Kathy, very kind of you to support caregivers. I know they appreciate it.
My neighbour and good friend is living with advancing dementia, and I say "living with” and not "suffering from.” He is 97, and occasionally a little despondent as he recognizes that all that he was and had are slipping away. But mostly life goes in a comfortable way. His social graces and charm are still with him. His wife loves him, and he loves her. He still lives at home thanks to help from family, social services and privately employed caregivers. Family, friends and neighbours drop in daily. He was an illustrious artist and that is now behind him. But what lies ahead is far better than bearable. He is still himself and he still has the world.
Bryan, what a fantastic illustration of the thesis. Thank you.
I really appreciate your changed perspective on this issue. But try as I may, I find it hard to wrap my brain around this one. It scares the shit out of me, even though I have had a lot of experience being around cognitively impaired seniors.
Don, thanks hugely for this. So well timed! In a few weeks I’m going to visit an old friend from our DC days; she’s recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and we’re all (close friends and her family) adjusting. She recently asked me to write about “how to deliver bad medical news” — what are ideas and approaches that are useful. I’m already working on this essay and will be quoting you! P.S. As an illustration that the intelligent person is still there, my newly-diagnosed friend asked me this question!
Debbie, I'm honored to be quoted by one of the best!
Beautifully stated Don. I will share this with the many caregivers in my community; as well as those close to me who can learn from your thoughtful approach to a difficult concept.
Thank you, Karen! Much appreciated.
Thank you. I am filing this one so I can revisit it from time to time.
Thanks, Carol! I'm glad it resonates with you.
Wayne, I've heard of it, and it's high on my list of nightmares.