I so appreciate your posts, Don. I'm also sorry we did not have the chance to meet several years ago at Betty and Dan's.
What have I learned as I age? I've learned to be grateful for my health and everything that has surrounded me in this world: family, friends and good fortune. Having had Parkinson's for about 8 years now, I'm still able to do and think and walk. Many of my contemporaries (and younger folks) cannot. I hope that a cure is found for this horrific disease in my lifetime. That's something I'd really be grateful for!
Love these eight things, Don! Makes me wonder what my eight things are. Here’s a first take: 1) To group together 60-year-olds and 90-year-olds (as our culture is wont to do) makes no more sense than glomming babies in with 30-year-olds. My 70s are emphatically different than my 60s were. 2) Freedom is our superpower. No need to fear it, no need to fill our days with piffle. Claim what means most to us. 3) Along those lines, NO is a very important word. We won’t be here forever. We get to set our own priorities. Because if not now, when? 4) Creativity is ours for our whole lives. 5) Same with sexuality 6) Same with play. 7) Every human body ages in its own way. To understand how we’re changing and be an active member of our healthcare team is one of the secrets of happiness. 8) Every old woman is beautiful. Every old man is handsome. Our culture defines beauty way too narrowly; we don’t need to.
I so enjoy reading your posts. I had full knee replacement six weeks ago. Needless to say the recovery is still going on but, I am able to get out and about on my own again. A few nights ago, at a local music venue, people were commenting on being glad to see me again. I said that it was nice to be seen. My singer friend Rick said, "Better to be seen than viewed". Took a moment but then I laughed. Getting old is hard work but rewarding
My experience – from working in public health, to advocating for older women, and being involved in the women’s movement since 1991 – has shown me that longevity is closely tied to a sense of purpose, belonging, and engagement. Adapting to longer lives is, therefore, fundamentally a collaborative endeavor. Today, as an independent advocate, I see independence not as a lack of support, but as a source of freedom and integrity. But adapting to longer lives is not an individual task. It is a collective responsibility—one that our societies are still not fully prepared to meet.
Congratulations, Don! What you've learned in 5 years, and your summary of those lessons, is impressive. I'm proud to be one of your frequent commenters, as I, too, have learned a lot. You even inspired me to start my own Substack on Aging! My approach is different from yours; it's also different from what I originally planned, But it's a journey worth taking. Thanks for all you are doing, my friend.
I've learned not to rush into judgement about anyone or anything. Give people a chance, try new things, expand rather than withhold. Keep moving, breathe deeply.
It's the number 8 for me. 'When you've met one old person, you've met one old person.' We treat older adults as a category when they're actually the most diverse group there is, more different from each other than at any earlier stage of life.
Have to agree with all your points except that here in the UK the health service is somewhat better and free at the point of need. For instance my recent cataract operation was carried out with care and efficiency at a location nearby.
I am 80 and have spent the past decade in various volunteer roles but over the past year experienced a shift in perspective. What if my purpose now is to be a witness to the absolute wonder of being a living being walking through an absolutely wonderful world. People on the high street, in the cafe. The trees, birds, clouds, rivers and hills. The beauty of spring, footpaths line with wild garlic. The call of the buzzards gliding over my allotment. I could go on!
What if our purpose is to experience the joy of knowing that we have always been at home in the world and that the world had always been at home on us.
Awesome stuff, Don, it’s been an and continues to be a fascinating journey, and you’re consistently brilliant! I’m currently learning the massive importance of flexibility (by which I mean physical, though mental and emotional apply too!). 😊
Six years!!! Congratulations, Don. That's quite the achievement. As I'm getting older, I'm grateful to be healthy, to have family I love and who loves me, and I'm learning I don't need to be so high-energy, hard-charging any more. I'm not climbing the corporate ladder or even trying to be a bestselling author. I'm learning it's ok to be more chill. Keep up the great work!
Congratulations on 5 years of the end game. I’ve learned so much from reading your blogs, especially today’s 8 lessons. One lesson I would add is that nothing stays the same. In our younger years, things were always changing but often I didn’t notice the changes. Now I am hyper-aware of physical, social and spiritual changes. I try to notice the declines and inclines without judging. All these changes make my aterwork life feel exciting and fulfilling. Thank you for the stimulus you provide so I can remain mindful of the changes I am experiencing.
This summary was a masterclass on aging! I’m so glad that in my 20-30 years of AfterWork, (which precedes my Afterlife), is guided by your sage wisdom!
I so appreciate your posts, Don. I'm also sorry we did not have the chance to meet several years ago at Betty and Dan's.
What have I learned as I age? I've learned to be grateful for my health and everything that has surrounded me in this world: family, friends and good fortune. Having had Parkinson's for about 8 years now, I'm still able to do and think and walk. Many of my contemporaries (and younger folks) cannot. I hope that a cure is found for this horrific disease in my lifetime. That's something I'd really be grateful for!
Gratitude is key. Thanks, Jeri. I hope you continue to get the most out of whatever life throws at you.
Love these eight things, Don! Makes me wonder what my eight things are. Here’s a first take: 1) To group together 60-year-olds and 90-year-olds (as our culture is wont to do) makes no more sense than glomming babies in with 30-year-olds. My 70s are emphatically different than my 60s were. 2) Freedom is our superpower. No need to fear it, no need to fill our days with piffle. Claim what means most to us. 3) Along those lines, NO is a very important word. We won’t be here forever. We get to set our own priorities. Because if not now, when? 4) Creativity is ours for our whole lives. 5) Same with sexuality 6) Same with play. 7) Every human body ages in its own way. To understand how we’re changing and be an active member of our healthcare team is one of the secrets of happiness. 8) Every old woman is beautiful. Every old man is handsome. Our culture defines beauty way too narrowly; we don’t need to.
What a great list! Thank you, Stella!
I so enjoy reading your posts. I had full knee replacement six weeks ago. Needless to say the recovery is still going on but, I am able to get out and about on my own again. A few nights ago, at a local music venue, people were commenting on being glad to see me again. I said that it was nice to be seen. My singer friend Rick said, "Better to be seen than viewed". Took a moment but then I laughed. Getting old is hard work but rewarding
That's a new one! Glad you're being seen and recovering is progressing well.
Those are all good ones and well said.
But I’ll pick a nit with you. No more AI! Your own pic would have been great here, but try Unsplash instead. Real photographers make those photos.
Unsplash is my go-to, but they didn't have anything to convey what I wanted on this piece.
Occasional photos are my only AI usage, in spite of all my software programs throwing AI apps in my face daily.
I have no problem with it. I caressed his flesh with my eyes, AI or not.
My experience – from working in public health, to advocating for older women, and being involved in the women’s movement since 1991 – has shown me that longevity is closely tied to a sense of purpose, belonging, and engagement. Adapting to longer lives is, therefore, fundamentally a collaborative endeavor. Today, as an independent advocate, I see independence not as a lack of support, but as a source of freedom and integrity. But adapting to longer lives is not an individual task. It is a collective responsibility—one that our societies are still not fully prepared to meet.
Ermira, thank you for sharing that wisdom.
Congratulations, Don! What you've learned in 5 years, and your summary of those lessons, is impressive. I'm proud to be one of your frequent commenters, as I, too, have learned a lot. You even inspired me to start my own Substack on Aging! My approach is different from yours; it's also different from what I originally planned, But it's a journey worth taking. Thanks for all you are doing, my friend.
Thank you, Jackie, for your kind words. Keep on writing!
I've learned not to rush into judgement about anyone or anything. Give people a chance, try new things, expand rather than withhold. Keep moving, breathe deeply.
All excellent things to know. Thanks, Wendl!
It's the number 8 for me. 'When you've met one old person, you've met one old person.' We treat older adults as a category when they're actually the most diverse group there is, more different from each other than at any earlier stage of life.
Have to agree with all your points except that here in the UK the health service is somewhat better and free at the point of need. For instance my recent cataract operation was carried out with care and efficiency at a location nearby.
I am 80 and have spent the past decade in various volunteer roles but over the past year experienced a shift in perspective. What if my purpose now is to be a witness to the absolute wonder of being a living being walking through an absolutely wonderful world. People on the high street, in the cafe. The trees, birds, clouds, rivers and hills. The beauty of spring, footpaths line with wild garlic. The call of the buzzards gliding over my allotment. I could go on!
What if our purpose is to experience the joy of knowing that we have always been at home in the world and that the world had always been at home on us.
Awesome stuff, Don, it’s been an and continues to be a fascinating journey, and you’re consistently brilliant! I’m currently learning the massive importance of flexibility (by which I mean physical, though mental and emotional apply too!). 😊
Yes, thumbs up for flexibility of every kind. Thank you for your kind words.
Mazel tov! That's a lot to be proud of!
Six years!!! Congratulations, Don. That's quite the achievement. As I'm getting older, I'm grateful to be healthy, to have family I love and who loves me, and I'm learning I don't need to be so high-energy, hard-charging any more. I'm not climbing the corporate ladder or even trying to be a bestselling author. I'm learning it's ok to be more chill. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for sharing, Susan!
Congratulations on 5 years of the end game. I’ve learned so much from reading your blogs, especially today’s 8 lessons. One lesson I would add is that nothing stays the same. In our younger years, things were always changing but often I didn’t notice the changes. Now I am hyper-aware of physical, social and spiritual changes. I try to notice the declines and inclines without judging. All these changes make my aterwork life feel exciting and fulfilling. Thank you for the stimulus you provide so I can remain mindful of the changes I am experiencing.
Thank you, Michael, for adding another valuable lesson. Much appreciated.
SIX years!!! Way to go, Don!
This summary was a masterclass on aging! I’m so glad that in my 20-30 years of AfterWork, (which precedes my Afterlife), is guided by your sage wisdom!
Kathleen, you are very kind and I am delighted that we are sharing the journey.
Profound.
Thanks, Patti.